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For most of us, high school is something we left behind a decade (or two or three) ago.
Did you ever notice that high school behavior (the negative kind) is something we consistently see in businesses and organizations? Some of the most common behaviors are:
- Approval seeking: people want people to like them. This is partly because humans are social creatures and partly because we are hard-wired to fear being shunned from the tribe. Approval seeking becomes problematic when you water down your message in order to appeal to the mythical tribe of "everybody". Approval seeking is also easy for others to spot. In networking circles, there is invariably someone who changes their personality to fit the current situation, a chameleon if you will. This begs the question, if this person is so unsure of who they are, how will they be able to serve me or the customers in business?
- Gossip: is one of the number one indicators that your office/business is in trouble. When people are gossiping, it's sure sign they are not happy in their own lives, because they are investing energy in spreading negative information about others. In business, it begs the question: if people talk this way about one another, what does that say about how they treat customers and conduct business?
- Crazymaking: Author Julia Cameron best describes "crazymakers" in her book The Artists' Way at Work: "Crazymakers thrive on drama, and melodrama requires a sense of impending doom. Everything is an emergency, a deadline, a matter of life and death, or something they will get to eventually. Read 'never'... Nearly any situation can be cast as melodrama to support a crazymaker's plot lines...". Crazymakers are the ones who drag uninvolved people into their conflicts; demand special treatment (off-hours appointments, discounted fees) and create chaos when you are trying to get stuff done. Crazymakers have no respect for other people's boundaries. When you have a crazymaker in your office, you'll know it because the crazymaker is the one taking up time and energy from everyone. Do you have a crazymaker wrecking your business?
- Complaining: a little complaining goes a long way. In small doses, it can be productive when it prompts you to take action to fix something that is not working. However, complaining can easily become a bad habit in groups. Complainers are easy to spot in groups, as they are usually complaining about inconsequential matters or things they cannot change. For example, complainers love to complain about the free food at networking events. We all have eaten the rubbery chicken at networking events, but chicken isn't why you attend the event, so don't complain about it! If someone complains about every minor detail, how do they conduct themselves in business? (probably by complaining)
- Cutting Class: Everyone cuts class from time to time. Some people elevate it to an Olympic caliber sport. We all know people who consistently cancel coffee and lunch dates at the last minute. They are usually the same people who do not show up to meetings and events they previously agreed to attend. If you are the kind of person who does not have the habit of showing up, how can you be expected to show up in your business?
- Cliques: The small, "exclusive" groups of people who seem to do everything together, also known as "the cool kids". Cliques are detrimental to business because they end up excluding potential new customers or partners. Being in a clique also puts you at increased risk for "groupthink", which is a dynamic that happens in groups when they aren't subject to outside influence. It is when consensus and harmony become the goals of the group, at the expense of growth.
"High school behavior" is an easy fallback because high school is an experience virtually all people have had, and the roles are easy to fall into in group situations. However it is extremely detrimental to the functioning and success of a business.
Do you see high school behavior in your organizations? If so, how is it tolerated or encouraged?
Jackie Dotson is a psychotherapist, blogger and the founder of Jackie Dotson, LCSW in Sacramento, CA, as well as the co-host of The Powder Keg of Awesome Podcast.
Engage with Jackie on Twitter: @sacbiztherapist or on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Jackie.Dotson.LCSW.
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